


Anything She Can Do I Can Do Better

by nefertiti1052



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Bants, Bottom Phil, D/s themes mentioned, Jealous Phil Lester, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Riding, porn with a little plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 20:34:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14880770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nefertiti1052/pseuds/nefertiti1052
Summary: In which Dan is a nosy fuck who likes to guess what their neighbours get up to in bed and Phil has had enough.





	Anything She Can Do I Can Do Better

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the Interactive Introverts Fest hosted by the @phandomficfests. Thank you to @artlessdynamite for being my beta, as usual, even when I send you my fics at the last minute. God bless.

After a long week packed with shows, Dan and Phil returned to their 3-star hotel room. If TATINOF had taught them anything, it was that they could not sleep in the cheapest hotels and get a good night sleep. The locations were not the same, the size of the rooms or beds either, and the people were loud.

They had decided to bite the bullet and get the nicer room, with the big bed for their freakishly long bodies and order room service whenever they felt like it.

They were also done with renting 2 rooms to pretend that they weren’t together; they didn’t outright admit it, but they didn’t make any effort in hiding it either. As their viewers would say, “there was only one bed.” Dan giggled at the thought as they made their way back to the room, but refused to tell Phil what he was laughing about, mostly because he knew Phil was a nosy fuck and he would insist later on. Sometimes, Dan just liked to keep Phil on his toes, and tonight, he was feeling playful.

Once they shut the door, they dropped their stuff on the couch and started changing into their pyjamas. They froze and looked up as they heard a bang from the room above. Dan was starting to panic until he heard a soft moan.

He moved to the bed area trying to listen for any clue as to what the people upstairs might be doing. Meaning, what position they were actually doing it in. It was always one of his favourite activities when the neighbours got too noisy.

You could say it was one more reason why they were a match made in heaven. Phil’s jam was loud arguments, and Dan had exposed him for it on twitter, but Dan’s thing was guessing how they were porking, and Phil wouldn’t dare to damage their pg-branding to expose him like that.

Phil was glued to the spot, still looking up, trying to listen. The banging sound started again, slow and rhythmic; it was definitely the wood bed frame against the wall. The girl’s moans got louder but the rhythm stayed the same. Straight couple, the girl was definitely on top and the guy seemed pretty into it.

“Damn she’s riding that dick into the sunset. Why didn’t I get invited to that?” Dan smirked at Phil.

Phil’s face made it pretty clear that he was offended “I’m right here!!” he said pointing at himself.

“I see you are, but what are you going to do about it?” Dan said giving him a single shoulder shrug.

“Oh, you are in for it, Howell,” spat Phil unzipping his jeans.

“You’re on,” he winked, removing his jumper.

Phil finished removing his clothes promptly and stalked to Dan, who was still lazily lowering his pants.

He threw the lube onto the bed, “Give me that!” he said, pulling Dan’s jeans and underwear in one go. Dan stepped out of them and he let out an Oomf as he was thrown to the bed.

Phil didn’t even let him settle properly. He didn’t care that they were sideways on the bed, he had had it with Dan always checking other people’s sexual lives. If he wanted action Phil was going to give it to him.

Phil climbed on the bed and straddled his boyfriend, pinning both of his hands above his head and kissing him roughly.

Both of them were too distracted to notice the noises upstairs had stopped. Phil ground his hips down making Dan moan loudly into his mouth. The pressure of Phil’s half hard cock on his own was driving him crazy.

Phil didn’t give him a chance to catch his breath, he grabbed the lube with one hand and poured some directly onto Dan’s dick.

“I can’t believe you are hard already!” Phil laughed.

“Ah! Shit, that’s cold,” Dan gasped, rolling up his hips to regain some of the sensations he was missing.

“Well too bad, I only have two hands and if I let go of yours you’ll move them,” said Phil throwing the lube aside and massaging both of their cocks.

“No, I won’t, I promise, but can we at least move to the pillows?”  

“Ugh, fine! but if you touch yourself I’ll make sure you regret it,” he said staring into Dan’s eyes to let him know he was not joking.

Dan knew that look, it meant Phil was not playing around. He nodded to let him know he understood.

“You are such a pillow queen, yet you have the nerve to be demanding! get up there, now!”

Dan moaned and moved quickly, resisting the urge to grab Phil’s ass to bring their pelvises together. He blushed profusely, just like he used to when they first met, almost 10 years ago. He was used to being a pampered sub; they both were, actually, as they liked to switch it around. But rough Phil got his blood boiling and rushing south.

Phil hurriedly straddled him once more and continued grinding on him. He pinched one of Dan’s nipples while he sucked on his neck and used his free hand to run his nails on Dan’s skin.

Dan’s moans got louder when Phil’s hand left his nipple and went down to his cock. “Hurry! fuck me already!” he demanded.

“You are not getting fucked tonight. You wanted a ride? I’ll give you one,” Smirked Phil right into his ear.

“Fuck!” Dan said breathlessly.

Phil lubed his fingers and reached behind himself, his hips coming to a stop as his concentration went elsewhere.

“Can I touch you?” said Dan making sure to keep his eyes soft, the way he knew Phil could not resist.

Phil nodded moaning softly as Dan caressed his torso. He had 2 fingers inside himself and he was trying to work as fast as he could. He made it to 3 and decided that he was ready enough; he had fingered himself earlier in the shower, but Dan didn’t need to know that.

He put both of his hands on Dan’s pecs and slowly lowered himself on Dan’s cock. He sighed as he bottomed out. Phil was well aware that Dan was probably dying to thrust, but he decided to take his time, just to aggravate his boyfriend as he had aggravated him.

He ground his hips gently, breathing deeply, focusing only on himself. Dan was confused, Phil seemed to be in the mood to play rough but now he was taking it slow; slower than ever, actually. When he was on top, he liked to have a certain pace. Even if he was pampering Dan, he was never hesitant or particularly slow.

Dan was starting to feel desperate, his body hot and slick with sweat, “Are you ok, babe? does it hurt?” Dan asked worriedly.

Phil shook his head, “No, I’m just taking the time to enjoy you,” he smiled.

“Philllll? pleeease?” he pouted caressing Phil’s hips.

“Please what?” he raised one eyebrow and maintained his pace.

“Fuck, please move!” he whined pressing his head back into the pillow.

“Ok,” Phil smiled sweetly before leaning forward a bit and started impaling himself on Dan’s cock. In no time, he was riding his boyfriend in earnest. Making sure to use enough force to make the entire bed shake and bang against the wall.

Dan was in heaven, his head buried in the pillows, his mouth wide open moaning, and hips spontaneously thrusting into Phil. He felt like he couldn’t catch his breath; his orgasm was approaching fast. He was trying to not be too loud because he knew, Phil could potentially change the rhythm to edge him or ruin it.

Using the strength of his entire body, Phil was giving it his all. High pitched moans falling from his lips as he felt his peak coming. He knew Dan was close too, even though he was trying to hide it. He had no intention of delaying their pleasure; they were both tired and they still needed to eat and shower.

He felt Dan’s hand on his cock, moving like a blur and thumbing his slit. He moaned as he came all over his boyfriend’s chest, but he kept going. Dan planted his feet on the bed and grabbed Phil’s hips as he thrust into him.

His eyes had fallen shut without realizing, he opened them and looked at Phil. His face scrunched up as he gasped. Dan had no time to ask what was wrong before they both came.

Dan looked at him smiling in amazement. He was covered in sweat, trembling like a leaf, eyes closed and lips parted.

“I can’t believe you came twice in a row,” Dan laughed.

“Mmmmm” Phil answered lying down on him.

Dan hugged his sleepy lover. “Aren’t you forgetting something, love?” he said, gently thrusting his mostly soft cock up.

“Agh, stay still!!” said Phil twisting Dan’s nipple.

“Ouch, you bastard!” he said, pretending to be offended.

“Shhh, Call room service, we should eat,” Phil sighed lying beside him.  He was considering getting a shower when they heard tapping noises on their ceiling.

“Wooooo! guys, it wasn’t a competition!” the guy upstairs said.

“If it was, we would have won though,” Phil yelled back smiling smugly.

“Oh, shut up,” Dan said kissing him.

Phil thought of all of the places they would get to ‘explore’ together and smiled. Touring life was definitely going to be a blast, competition or not.

 

              

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me on tumblr: succubusphan.tumblr.com


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